...Crying...

I had another weird dream a couple of days ago... "weird and off the wall" as it says in a book... I dreamt I was walking down a street... everything seemed to be very calm and like in a black and white picture... I saw myself sending a text message to mon amour... and then, a man came up to me and sat next to me... so I thought he was a thief or something, because he sat too close... so I got up and started walking... when he talked to me... he said: "why are you leaving?" and I answered.. "because I'm not supposed to be here"... at this point I could see myself from outside my body... it was very strange... Then, as I crossed the street and kept walking I noticed the man following me... walking right behind me... I walked faster and he walked faster, so caught by fear... I ran... and he ran too... he was right behind me...

At a distance, I saw some people walking outside some stores not far away and when I was close I yelled: "thief" and everybody panicked and went inside the stores and closed all the doors. When I got the a door and tried to open it, it was closed... I tried many of them, I felt scared because the man was close... ! Then..! there was a door that wasn't closed, so I got inside and when I tried to close it, I couldn't...! it wouldn't close... ! Inside, there was a girl, she was about my age, maybe a little younger and I couldn't see her face, she was writing and her hair covered her face and it was long, straight and amazing... it was very beautiful, and even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was beautiful too. She didn't seem to notice I was there, holding the door, or all the fuzz that went on outside, she just kept writing. Finally, the man got to the door and fought me to open it... he would pull and I would pull too...I felt so scared... and then the man started screaming horrible things... to the girl! not to me ... I had no idea what was going on...! He took a plastic bag with water, opened it and threw water inside, until the water reached her but she didn't seem to care, she kept writing...

... and of course, it reached me... I was soaked... The man seemed very angry... he wanted to open the door and come in... then, when the water was about to run out, he took some in his mouth and spat it inside the room and the last thing he did was that he spit on me... I felt horrible... so bad... I felt sad... it's very difficult to explain...

Then, I saw myself sitting next to the girl... she seemed to be watching T.V. and I still couldn't see her face... I felt numb, I was frozen and kept thinking about the event... Then, I decided to move, I stood up and took some of my clothes that were on the floor... I continued to be very wet... and when I was picking them up from the floor, the feeling was just too much... and I started crying... It's really hard to explain but I felt really bad... really sad... and then... I woke up... and I was actually crying... for a moment I thought it had actually happened... I didn't sleep late, I didn't watch T.V. I didn't have much for dinner... I'm saying it because people blame all these things for bad dreams... I have no explanation for it... ...weird and off the wall..


Lesson learned:

I still have to figure out the meaning so that I can learn the lesson...

The snake...

I've been having these straaaange dreams.. I have no idea what's going on..! Well... forget dreams..! They're nightmares!!

A couple of weeks ago I dreamt I was in a water park... the water was clear and fresh... and there was this boy, about 10 years old teaching me how to use the slides. When I was finally up there, I heard everybody screaming and running, telling me to run too, so when I turned around there was this huge python near me, I don't remember being afraid but I got down from there anyways... Then I saw myself walking home with mon amour a.k.a. my NabÜ, and then when I looked down, I saw the snake again, it was the same snake and I wasn't afraid, so I knelt down and took it by the head, put it around my neck and I knew it wouldn't bite me.

We kept on walking and saw this beautiful dog, we pet him and kept walking, then there was this poor dog, skinny and he seemed hungry and sick... it walked passed us and not far from him came another dog... neither of the three of a particular breed and all the size of a golden retriever. Then we heard people talking about dogs or something and when we turned around, the skinny dog had killed the first dog we saw and was eating it..!!! I felt so bad...!!!

After all that, we kept walking and I still had the snake around my neck when we found my dad, we was cutting into pieces a plant he really likes, a green chayote plant he loves, he was getting rid of it.. but he was standing in the middle of the street with another man...
When we finally got home... I didn't see mon amour anymore but I noticed I was in my room and I wanted to leave the snake on my desk. When I finally decided to put it down I noticed that the snake had bitten me..! Both my thumbs were bitten several times and felt numb but I knew I was going to be okay.
Then, when I tried to show it to my mom and took it by the end, it started shrinking...! it was dead...! and then, I woke up...

I don't know... but right after that dream a lot of things went wrong... but that wasn't the last strange dream I've had... I read a little bit about what dreams mean, people asked me if I had been watching TV, the news or if I had eaten too much but I hadn't... it was just strange...


Lesson learned: Never hold a snake in your dreams... u_u

...Beautiful hidden things...

So... turns out that in my house we have new flowers!!
Flowers I had never seen before and are very beautiful.
I think my dad brought them from somewhere and planted them in my garden and now we get to see how beautiful they are without ever moving a finger to help them be there... I guess that when I think about that I wonder if I should try gardening one of these days.
My boss told me the other day that along with her husband they had planted some flowers in their garden and had come to the conclusion that that was not their thing, which is understandable, but my dad... my dad is something else.
We have this cute budgerigar at home and my father has taught him to sing some things... I think they don't normally do that, but he does.

My dad talks to him on a daily basis and there are some tunes that he can repeat, it's hilarious to listen to him trying to play "la cucaracha" next to my dad, My dad always takes him out to the garden under a chayote plant we have there and talks to him and he... seems to talk back.



Anyway...
The first flower we saw is called Epiphyllum oxypetalum... not to worry... it also has a normal name, it's called The queen of the night and it looks something like this:
It's beautiful and smells great! It has this salmon-colored petals close to the bud and they open first; what makes the queen of the night interesting is that it only opens for one night and then it doesn't do it anymore, it dies.
I had no idea about this plant so I actually didn't get a chance to take a good picture of it in my actual yard. I just took a couple of pictures in the morning, when it was closing (still kicking myself) but I took a short and not that great video....

The second flower we have... I don't really know its name, but it looks like a red queen of the night, can that be?
At the beginning I thought it was a Disocactus x jenkinsonii but I learned that that one is more of a cactus and this one si different and found out that it is called Disocactus ackermannii (no normal name for these) but the point is that it's also very beautiful and this time I decided to take a picture even if it was very dark and then realized that in the morning it was still beautiful but I liked the picture anyway.
The first one was not that good, it was very dark.

The second one was better... it really is a beautiful flower.

I sometimes think that there are many beautiful hidden things in my life, my dad may be one of them (complex story), just like these flowers and many other things.

Lesson Learned:

All of us have beautiful hidden things in our lives, it's always nice to discover them.

...What is the ONE thing you want most every morning? ...

Is it a bath?...How about a cup of coffee?

Because I know many people around who want a cup of coffee more than the bath, more than many other things... even better if it's right next to the newspaper and a nice breakfast.

What is it really?... and how long does it last?
Many times I believe we always want one thing when we wake up... in my case, a call... or a message, those things make my heart smile, many times when I wake up I want to see a smile in everyone I see, from my mom to the people I say bye to when I leave home who by the way... I don't even know (long story, I'll tell you about it one day).

I constantly ask myself what is the purpose of life, and so far, the one I like the most is "to be happy"... I know it may sound ephemeral, but it's way better to have something that will actually last for a really long time than something that will rust in a couple of years.
So, every morning... that ONE thing you want, what will make you happy can be provided by someone you love or by yourself, how? well simple... every single thought in your mind is way more powerful than many things.
It is a true thing that you are who you choose to be, therefore, if you want to be happy, you just have to be.

I guess that for human beings, that ONE thing we want can sometimes be predictable, it's not like I've heard that the first thing people want when they wake up is to bungee jump, so in a way, they can sort of be predicted...
I sometimes consider that maybe we want big things, all the time... many people just won't settle for a smile, a hug or... how about... a scratch?
Take my dogs for example, the first thing they want when they see me is... a good scratch, fair huh?

They'd do anything for a scratch, they don't care if they're wet, dirty or clean, all they do is wag their tail and come to me, and if they could speak, I have no idea the things they'd say... they'll even stop being nice to each other for a good scratch... what has happened to this world? ...

... just kidding...

So, think about it... have you even noticed what is that ONE thing you want when you wake up?... I know my dogs do!

Meet Daisy...

"Ohhhhh yeah!... a little to the left... that's right... riiiiight there, under the ear..."

"Heaven...!"

Meet Beanie...

"My kingdom for a scratch! "... ehmmm... don't tell anybody I told you that..."

"ehmmm.. you won't tell anybody.... will you?"

and last but not least meet Chispa...

...There you go... that's what we're talking about...
This is the same expression you'll get when you're giving her a good scratch...
You don't believe me?...

...She makes me smile a lot...

Have you ever thought about what really makes you happy?

My point is... do I even have a point? you know... sometimes it's ok not to have one...


Lesson Learned:

That ONE thing we want the most should always be what will make us happy, even if it is a smile... or a good scratch

...I want to be the person my dog thinks I am...

When I first got my dog, he would always sleep in my bed and constantly be with me.... he is a chihuahua... you know, chihuahua dogs always want to be around, they're faithful and well... not for everybody, I'd say... it's not like everyone finds chihuahuas cute, especially when they make faces like this...





That's him... Beanie... when he was around one year old, playing "let's bite each other, but you don't get to bite me" game with our other dog, when she had just come to the house... that's right... he's just playing, no one got injured... XD







So having a new dog around, one that is so fragile and is always cold is a nice experience when you're a teen, as I was... I got to take care of him and snuggle him, but then, he grew... and after the 10 pairs of shoes he ate, all the times he peed everything around him, he ate things I thought no dog would ever eat, we just started calling him cochito... n_n ...


The only thing was, my mom would never allow my cochito to sleep in my bed anymore, he was a grown dog now, he could handle it... and at the beginning, I was the one who couldn't handle it, not him. But we all grew....
Five years later... he still goes to the front door to say hi, he wags his tail and smiles at me... he seems to think many great things of me.... and even though I am aware that that's not how things work, what I do know, is that he's really faithful and seems to love me no matter what.


A couple of nights ago, it was a very cold night, for a change, since it's been really hot lately, and he came to my door and cried a little.... he wanted to come inside, to sleep in my nice warm bed (and I don't know if there were any hidden intentions) So, very seriously, I had to talk to him, and I said:


"Beanie... you can sleep in my bed on ONE condition... you can not move one inch... no moving, running around, scratching my pillow to make holes in it, nothing... you hear me? " and he looked at me and seemed to smile...














...and turns out...the next morning, he was in the exact same spot I had left him, with all his gray hair because he's getting old and the same look in his eyes he had 5 years ago.


Lesson Learned:

Second chances don't only apply for big things... you can learn a lot from second chances...