...Different Interests...

I've been thinking a lot about respect lately... respect for others mainly...
Something happened exactly a week ago...
We got a call at work, it was an old friend and former co-worker;
she told us that there was this dog that had been run over in a place that is coincidentally near my house.
In these type of situations... we can never say no...
So, I went looking for it...
I couldn't contact the girl who had called, she gave me the wrong number by mistake.
It was 6:30 pm already... I asked the guards who let me in without paying the parking fee if they had seen a dog, and their reaction was something along the lines of "oh..! the dog's been here for like 2 or 3 days... no, we haven't seen it today"
So I went inside and started walking around the parking lot... I asked around 10 people if they had seen a dog and everyone said no...
I kept walking and found another guard; when I asked him and he said that he had seen it too, and that it seemed really sad and hurt.
I kept looking... I couldn't just leave... I had told my friends that I would meet them later because I really felt I had to do this...
I kept walking and it had started to rain...I don't even remember how... but I saw it...!!
When I came close, she started waging her tail and she had this sweet look in her face... I talked to her and noticed nobody was around... I could have cried right there but I just talked to her... told her everything was going to be fine hoping she would understand.

A girl came to me... and asked me if I came from an organization, I told her I wasn't from an organization but I was going to take her...
The girl and a friend of hers helped me put the dog in the car and I never heard of her again, I guess that was her good deed of the day, let someone know about a problem she couldn't handle and let someone else do the job (I'm still very glad she did).
There was a lot of traffic that day and I'm not really good at getting to places faster, so I took around an hour to get there...
A guy from the place helped me take her out and we waited... I explained that she was a stray dog, but that we would find a home for her. She was really nervous, they put a muzzle in her snout but she wouldn't have done anything anyway... she
was in pain...

The vet examined her and told me I'd have to leave her...
The next day, I went to see how she was doing... and he explained that, even though he had given her pain killers, she'd need surgery. He showed me the X-rays and it looked bad... they had already shaved her leg to prepare her for the surgery.

She was very brave, she wagged her tail all the time and seemed grateful.

She had surgery the next day, the vet just told me she hadn't been eating because she was in pain, but that she would eat when she felt better. He also talked to me about how much money we would have to pay... and it was a lot..! well, at least a lot more than what we had expected.
One of the founders of AWARE said that they would help us by talking to the vet and getting a discount. I had taken the dog to my regular vet, but he has helped other dogs and actually he had a couple of dogs that he had helped and that nobody was willing to adopt.
We raised money at work, with our students and teachers and we're almost there...!
We just need to find her a good home.
When I saw her after the surgery, I saw a different face, she looked happier, and she kept the positive attitude.

...Before and after...
She'll feel just like new in a couple of weeks...!

I had been considering doing volunteer work for AWARE and finally today, I made up my mind... Truth is, I feel it inside, it's something I need to do, I'm positive a big change will occur. Things can change, therefore they have.

By the way, we named her Marley... n_n

Lesson learned:


Everybody may have different interests, but that doesn't mean you have to share them just because that's what everybody does.
I may have lived with pets around and that makes me be who I am today, but I honestly don't want to wonder how I would be if I didn't love animals like I do.
I've learned, that respect is something you show all the time, to animals, to people in need, to the people you love and your family and friends... it's realizing that the world is bigger than your own world... that we're not alone... and that changes can be made and not giving up.

...Expectations...

I've always liked surprises...
I think there was a time in my life in which I told everyone I didn't like them... but truth is, that was just because I was too curious to wait and I hoped that by saying it I would get a chance to see, discover or find out faster.
I think that I've had many surprises, but I don't remember most of them... but I love them.
Today I started thinking something I had forgotten, and that is that, we always have expectations... I used to say to myself not to expect anything from anybody all the time, because I tend to have expectations... I think we all do, in a way.
It's like knowing that if you have a car crash, you can always call your parents and they'll be there, when you're having problems with your phone and knowing that your brother will fix it because he was born with some sort of chip inside his head that makes him understand all those things.

The only problem about that is that you start expecting things from other people... or about really big things... and you shouldn't.
First of all, it's a really selfish thing to expect things from the rest, it's really unfair, because, how do you know the other person even cares about what you care about, loves the things you love or would like the things you'd like.

Throughout my life, I experienced disappointments all the time. I got to the point in which I posted something on my bedroom wall that says: "disappointment is easy, you get over disappointment... but your dreams? How can you live without knowing what's gonna happen"
Maybe one thing has nothing to do with the other, and I think there's more to the phrase, but I always kept the whole getting over disappointment as an easy thing.
I started wondering about what others expected of me... I noticed that most of my life I lived to other people's expectations and not my own.

You should be a hard working person, you should study and be responsible, you should...should...should... and truth is, I've always followed my family's expectations to a certain point, and I don't regret it, I like to see them happy and proud of me...
Even though many parts inside of me have died as time goes by, I continue to be me... but stronger; I've learned so much about everything and I'm ready to learn more... my point is, we should never forget who we are.



When people say life is too short, we should really believe it, live by it... there's no way today is coming back tomorrow to give you a chance do things all over again... All you have is today, that's it... if you wake up tomorrow, then, it's a miracle you should treasure... there are no second chances, so , living up to other people's expectations and not your own, forgetting who you are just to please people is a big mistake.

We were born to be happy, why else would we be here? It would make no sense...
I read a nice quote that says: "The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations."
Don't expect the call, the phrase, the message, the letter, the words, the hug, the kiss... that way, It'll be worth it...

Lesson learned:

Never forget who you are because others make versions of you according to what they want from you or what they need you to be for them.
Make every single thing unexpected, make it your own, make it be worth it.

...Bunny...

My dad gave me something today...
And truth is... even though I had already seen it, and knew I was getting it... there's nothing like actually receiving it..!
It felt great...
Truth is, we never give much to each other... but we share a lot of things.
He's practicing making plaster figurines, and he's been busy trying new stuff and painting them (even though he doesn't have a lot of colors).
He recently started making bunnies... cute bunnies that remind me of my childhood for some reason.
When I was around 5 years old, he had a company, he sold books and had a team of around 10 people helping him. We used to go to his office with my brother and collect staples from the carpet under what would be my future sister in law's desk.
I remember there was this boy, he was the owner's son and he ate a lot of cereal... I remember it wasn't even that great, but we would eat tons of it every time we went to the office.
This boy also had little papers he'd cut and we would pretend it was money to play for a while.
My dad used to make murals in the office... I wish I could have a picture, they were so amazing, big and colorful, and every now and then he would change the theme... he used them to measure progress in the company, and one of the ones I remember the most was a big mural that had snowy mountains, and a cable car ride, and each car would have the name of a worker and they went up the mountain until they reached the goal... it was incredible...
I also remember they drank a lot of coffee... there were a lot of mugs...! or at least that's what I remember at the age of 5... maybe there were just a couple of them...
Well... on my dad's desk, there was a bunny... he'd use it as a paperweight...
well... this bunny... is exactly the same..



It reminds me of my childhood... it reminds me of such good times...
My mom saw the bunny with tender eyes... she knew it would be special for me...
Thing is... he had offered a bunny once, about a month ago... he just said: "you can take one if you want"... so I told him.. "is it going to be a gift from you?" and he hesitated and said: "well... yeah..it's a present" so I asked him to write his name on it... or more than his name... the date.

I remember one time, when I was around 7... I have always liked to color, and that day I decided to color something for him... a donkey... as funny as it may sound, I loved it... I remember I colored it gray... I used very thin paper... it was almost transparent and I gave it to him.. he said: "but it doesn't have a date on it" so I went back, wrote the date but I made a mistake doing it... when I tried to erase it... it ripped... almost in half... I felt so bad... my donkey... split in half..
I took it to him and told him what had happened... and he said something along the lines of: "I don't want it anymore" and I never forgot...

Back to the bunny... days went by and he didn't give it to me... but today in the morning he said: "hey, I had forgotten... this is for you" and he gave me the most beautiful bunny figurine ever...
when I looked at the base it had the date... it said: "ILU" and his initials...
I guess that... for a really long time since I grew up, I had wanted something like that... more than the bunny... the gift, the thought.... it made me feel great...



Lesson learned:

There are many things we never forget from our childhood, but those are the ones that make us be who we are right now...
We should never forget to love without repair and give all the love we have... it's not like we have a lifetime just in case... all we have is now...

...Dreams...

I had another dream last night...another nightmare...
I saw myself driving... mon amour was next to me...
We weren't talking or holding hands like we always do... we weren't looking at each other or anything like that...
I stopped in a place near my house... and he stepped outside, no goodbye... nothing.

There was a car nearby... a nice champagne color with the trunk open...
There was somebody waiting for him... he put his backpack in the trunk and was ready to leave... and so was I.

I knew he was gone forever...
...he held her hand, but it was different...

u_u

Lesson learned:

There are some lessons you don't want to think about... thing is they start getting big.

...Crying...

I had another weird dream a couple of days ago... "weird and off the wall" as it says in a book... I dreamt I was walking down a street... everything seemed to be very calm and like in a black and white picture... I saw myself sending a text message to mon amour... and then, a man came up to me and sat next to me... so I thought he was a thief or something, because he sat too close... so I got up and started walking... when he talked to me... he said: "why are you leaving?" and I answered.. "because I'm not supposed to be here"... at this point I could see myself from outside my body... it was very strange... Then, as I crossed the street and kept walking I noticed the man following me... walking right behind me... I walked faster and he walked faster, so caught by fear... I ran... and he ran too... he was right behind me...

At a distance, I saw some people walking outside some stores not far away and when I was close I yelled: "thief" and everybody panicked and went inside the stores and closed all the doors. When I got the a door and tried to open it, it was closed... I tried many of them, I felt scared because the man was close... ! Then..! there was a door that wasn't closed, so I got inside and when I tried to close it, I couldn't...! it wouldn't close... ! Inside, there was a girl, she was about my age, maybe a little younger and I couldn't see her face, she was writing and her hair covered her face and it was long, straight and amazing... it was very beautiful, and even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was beautiful too. She didn't seem to notice I was there, holding the door, or all the fuzz that went on outside, she just kept writing. Finally, the man got to the door and fought me to open it... he would pull and I would pull too...I felt so scared... and then the man started screaming horrible things... to the girl! not to me ... I had no idea what was going on...! He took a plastic bag with water, opened it and threw water inside, until the water reached her but she didn't seem to care, she kept writing...

... and of course, it reached me... I was soaked... The man seemed very angry... he wanted to open the door and come in... then, when the water was about to run out, he took some in his mouth and spat it inside the room and the last thing he did was that he spit on me... I felt horrible... so bad... I felt sad... it's very difficult to explain...

Then, I saw myself sitting next to the girl... she seemed to be watching T.V. and I still couldn't see her face... I felt numb, I was frozen and kept thinking about the event... Then, I decided to move, I stood up and took some of my clothes that were on the floor... I continued to be very wet... and when I was picking them up from the floor, the feeling was just too much... and I started crying... It's really hard to explain but I felt really bad... really sad... and then... I woke up... and I was actually crying... for a moment I thought it had actually happened... I didn't sleep late, I didn't watch T.V. I didn't have much for dinner... I'm saying it because people blame all these things for bad dreams... I have no explanation for it... ...weird and off the wall..


Lesson learned:

I still have to figure out the meaning so that I can learn the lesson...

The snake...

I've been having these straaaange dreams.. I have no idea what's going on..! Well... forget dreams..! They're nightmares!!

A couple of weeks ago I dreamt I was in a water park... the water was clear and fresh... and there was this boy, about 10 years old teaching me how to use the slides. When I was finally up there, I heard everybody screaming and running, telling me to run too, so when I turned around there was this huge python near me, I don't remember being afraid but I got down from there anyways... Then I saw myself walking home with mon amour a.k.a. my NabÜ, and then when I looked down, I saw the snake again, it was the same snake and I wasn't afraid, so I knelt down and took it by the head, put it around my neck and I knew it wouldn't bite me.

We kept on walking and saw this beautiful dog, we pet him and kept walking, then there was this poor dog, skinny and he seemed hungry and sick... it walked passed us and not far from him came another dog... neither of the three of a particular breed and all the size of a golden retriever. Then we heard people talking about dogs or something and when we turned around, the skinny dog had killed the first dog we saw and was eating it..!!! I felt so bad...!!!

After all that, we kept walking and I still had the snake around my neck when we found my dad, we was cutting into pieces a plant he really likes, a green chayote plant he loves, he was getting rid of it.. but he was standing in the middle of the street with another man...
When we finally got home... I didn't see mon amour anymore but I noticed I was in my room and I wanted to leave the snake on my desk. When I finally decided to put it down I noticed that the snake had bitten me..! Both my thumbs were bitten several times and felt numb but I knew I was going to be okay.
Then, when I tried to show it to my mom and took it by the end, it started shrinking...! it was dead...! and then, I woke up...

I don't know... but right after that dream a lot of things went wrong... but that wasn't the last strange dream I've had... I read a little bit about what dreams mean, people asked me if I had been watching TV, the news or if I had eaten too much but I hadn't... it was just strange...


Lesson learned: Never hold a snake in your dreams... u_u